alal might not be strong but alal wont cry, alal wont break, alal wont die. coz alal wont leave some1, who needed her, alone. alal will go through this. mayb nt smiling always, but alal WILL go through this n get her final happie ending. alal dun care. dun be sad for alal, be glad that she'll get her happiness in the end. (: & alal noe she will......

alal: i used to love my family. i used to be happy at home. until...... nvm. let's start at the top.
my dad married my mum w/o lettin my granny noe. then my mum l8r found out tat my dad married my mum coz of her money n she stopped giving him cash. my dad so called cheated my mum of her money n her life. haiz. my mum side de family was FOREVER tellin my mum nt to marry my dad but now, she (n every1) could only regret.

then, my parents actually plan to divorce, but i came out. followed by my bro, which made everything harder. now, my dad bad mouths my mum n my mum tells a different story bout the past to me. i dunno wad to believe. i dunno wad's the truth. i dunno who to side. n i dunno wad to do. so... i gave up. i only look 4ward to growing up n leaving. if possible, take my bro wif me.

my bro used to tell me once (if i'm nt wrong twice.), "jie, sometimes i feel so tired. i feel like sleeping n nvr waking up." i rmbed clearly tat time he was at the top bunk of my bed n i'm lying on my own bottom bunk bed. his statement stole my breath. i was shocked. i thought i was the only 1 at home tat was emo-ish bout it. i had forgotton bout my bro. so i started talkin to him bout his troubles. everyday, i'll come home, do my hm-wrk, practise a bit of my piano n ALWAYS leave at least 1hour to talk to my bro. i gave him advices on his fwens, teachers, n esp parents. the biggest prob he (and i) have.

he's so young, n yet........ haiz. so, i'm now so-call heartless at home, i dun feel anything, i stopped crying (let alone smiling, dun talk bout laughin), instead, i try to look out 4 my bro. but it's so hard when my mum soooo pisssssed me off half the time. while my dad...... i'm so stressed around him. STRESSED! my bro totally agree. wif him i feel uncomfortable. wayyyyy un comfortable. i dun dare to smile. i cant even give a weak grin. =/ when u come my house or be wif me n my family, dun expect me to be the same (sottsott crappycrappy laughingnon-stoppedly) person. it's too hard. i cant do it. i juz cant.

-alal
(dun worry, i aint crying. i've shed too much tears over my family that i found no more tears could come out. and crying has been so often in my family these years tat no 1 will feel anything bout it. cry? who cares? it's normal in this house. =/
i juz wan some1 to take care n look out for me. all the time. if possible, love me too.

S.T.U.P.I.D relieved stress at 00:50